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ACTIVITY 9: Conflict – Learning to Deal with It

ACTIVITY 9: Conflict – Learning to Deal with It

YOU DECIDE!

Scenario 2

You and a friend are alone, and he has some smokeless tobacco. He says he’s never tried it and doesn’t intend on making it a habit, but he wants to do it just once to see what it’s like. He reminds you that the two of you have always done things together and this should be no exception.

What do you do?

How do you feel afterward?

Based on your feelings, the next time you are in a situation similar to this one, you are likely to:

ACTIVITY 9: Conflict – Learning to Deal with It

ACTIVITY 9: Conflict – Learning to Deal with It

YOU DECIDE!

Read the scenarios on this page and the following pages and decide how you would approach or resolve each situation.

Scenario 1

A friend can’t find a textbook she lent you. She accuses you of never returning it, but you’re sure you did.

How do you feel afterward?

Based on your feelings, the next time you are in a situation similar to this one, you are likely to:

ACTIVITY 9: Conflict – Learning to Deal with It

ACTIVITY 9: Conflict – Learning to Deal with It

Which things on the previous pages do you already do well when facing a conflict?

Which do you struggle with or need to work on when facing a conflict?

What tips do you have for others facing a conflict?

ACTIVITY 9: Conflict – Learning to Deal with It

ACTIVITY 9: Conflict – Learning to Deal with It

MORE TIPS ON HOW TO RESOLVE CONFLICT

7) Be reasonable.

And encourage your friends to be reasonable, too. Always look to see if the intensity of a person’s reaction (including your own) is appropriate for the conflict at hand. Encourage everyone to keep cool heads and maintain perspective.

8) Don't take sides.

When friends are in a conflict, be impartial.

9) Let it go.

Accept your share of the responsibility for the conflict. Admit when you are wrong or at fault. Apologize and be prepared to forgive the other person if he or she apologizes.

ACTIVITY 9: Conflict – Learning to Deal with It

ACTIVITY 9: Conflict – Learning to Deal with It

MORE TIPS ON HOW TO RESOLVE CONFLICT

4) Be willing to cut a deal

Don’t try to “win.” Show a willingness to find a compromise you both can live with.

5) Know when to walk away.

Sometimes the atmosphere is not right for a settlement. Feelings may be too charged. Anger may outweigh reason. If need be, tell the other person you are not yet ready to work things out, but you are willing to try later.

6) Don't resort to violence or insults

Don’t let things escalate—it will only cause more issues.

ACTIVITY 9: Conflict – Learning to Deal with It

ACTIVITY 9: Conflict – Learning to Deal with It

TIPS ON HOW TO RESOLVE CONFLICT

Listed here and on the next few pages are some tips that might help you resolve a conflict in a healthy way. It might take practice to find out which strategies work for you.

1) Respond; don't react.
Stay calm and cool. Think about what you will say before you say it. Don’t speak in a tone that will escalate the conflict. Do whatever you have to do to either get calm or stay calm.

2) Focus on the problem.
Don't let an argument become personal. Stay focused on the conflict itself and look for possible solutions.

3) Talk. And listen.
Be clear about what you see as the problem and about what you want. Don’t be accusatory. And don’t present your side as if you are right and the other person is wrong. Be a good listener. Give the other person room to speak. In order to show that you are listening, report what the person said and ask if you have heard him or her correctly.

ACTIVITY 9: Conflict – Learning to Deal with It

ACTIVITY 9: Conflict – Learning to Deal with It

One of the most important parts of a conflict is how you choose to respond to it. Before you react, stop and think! Decide how you can best manage the situation so it doesn’t get out of hand, especially if you are upset. You have to live with the consequences.

ACTIVITY 9: What I See In Me

ACTIVITY 9: What I See In Me

ACTIVITY 9: What I See In Me

ACTIVITY 9: What I See In Me

One thing I am proud of and wish everyone knew about me is:

The thing people like most about me is:

The thing people like most about me is:

DID YOU KNOW?

Feeling good about yourself and believing positive things about yourself can help you make the right decisions. How? It can help you stand up for yourself in tough situations.

ACTIVITY 9: What I See In Me

ACTIVITY 9: What I See In Me

Read each statement and decide if you agree or disagree with it. Then, drag it to the appropriate category.

  • AGREE
    • DISAGREE
      • When I make a mistake, I feel ashamed.
      • I notice a difference in myself when I have been getting a lot of exercise.
      • Sometimes I say “yes” when I want to say “no”.
      • I’m not embarrassed to ask for help.
      • There is nothing about me that I would want to change.
      • It’s hard for me to meet new people.
      • I worry a lot.
      • I would try tobacco and nicotine if my friends wanted me to.
      • I usually like who I see in the mirror each morning.
      • I feel that I am in control of my life.
      • Being popular is not important to me.
      • I’m good at solving problems.
      • I feel good when I stand up for myself.
      • I’m usually happy.